For this blog I had to respond to an article I read from Room for debate , The article I chose was Should the Legal Drinking Age Be Lowered? The article was about changing the drinking age limit to 18 and enforcing it. It also talks about how drinking under age the number of traffic deaths caused by young drunk drivers.Stating why people shouldn't drink under age. I personally think the drinking age limit should stay at 21 , I don't see why everyone is so in a rush to have a drink or two. There are some people who don't even wait until they're 21 and they still have people go into liquor stores and buying them drinks. There are some rules the law created and about 50% or maybe more people don't even follow ( my opinion). So some of these are rules are really necessary just for people safety and think people should start following them just to be on the safe side.
In my English class we had to write a creative nonfiction essay. It had to be 1,000 words long. We could write about a scene that happened about a month ago. But the hard part was we had to have showing & telling scenes, you would have to be able to picture these scenes while reading the story. It wasn’t hard to complete, just had to be careful about what to write.
First Draft : Shakia Collier Eng100 Prof. S Mangini 24, February 2015 Drinking Under the Influence Young people shouldn’t drink under the influence, because you never know what might happen. Anything can happen like a cause of death, a real bad accident. Never let anyone peer pressure you to do anything. If you decide to drink under the influence, you will see all the consequences you will have to face if you don’t make it out safe. One night the girls decided to go out. They wanted to attend a party they heard about on Twitter. The party was free until it got shut down. Everyone was invited to the party. The party started at 9 o’clock. Hearing about the party got the girls excited, so they decided to go to the mall and find some sexy outfits. The girls are at the mall shopping for their outfits for tonight. Tracy decided to wear this tight fitted black dress, with some red heels. Cyn wanted to wear a crop top with a mini skirt. Erica decided to wear a dress also but couldn’t think of the shoes she wanted to wear. So all the girls found there outfit, and started to head back home to get ready for the party. Everyone is now home getting dress, it’s about eight o clock. You hear loud music playing, and see you everyone just moving around like wild animals. Tracy is doing her makeup, Erica is in the shower and Cyn is doing her hair. So far everything is going great with good timing. It was about time to get ready and leave. Then Cyn took a shot of alcohol and passed it around the circle. The girls are in the car blasting music, dancing, on their way to the party. When they pulled up to the party all you seen was a lot of people outside, So we wasn’t sure where the party was. Some random boy pointed us in the direction of the party. We all walked in and saw colorful lights flashing with a strip pole in the middle. People were drinking and dancing all over. It was a lot of people in the party, it was so packed people could barely move. Next some girl came around with a glass container, giving out some type of drink she made. The drink was very tasty and fruity. As of right now the party is still going and it’s about twelve o clock. There are people still dancing, drinking and doing whatever. Cyn told everybody in the group that the party was popping and she didn’t want to leave yet. Since that we all decided to stay for a couple more hours. So finally when they decided to leave things just started going. Maybe because we were all under the influence. We went to the Wawa that was around the corner from the party so we could get something to eat. Everybody got out the car except Cyn and Tracy. Not even ten before we came out the store. All we saw was the car moving into the tree with door open. While the car was moving Tracy was behind the stirring wheel and Cyn getting dragged by the car. Then all of a sudden blue and red lights start flashing. There were like 3 cops pulling, they took Cyn and Tracy. While everybody else got away, this was the worst night ever. Cyn got her license suspended and Tracy got a citation in the mail. * My first draft wasn't that bad , I had to change the way i sequenced my story. If I put all my scenes in the right spot my creative would be all complete. * Second Draft:So finally when we decided to leave things just started going all wrong. Maybe because they were all under the influence. Everybody decided to go to Wawa, that was right around the corner from the party so we could get something to eat. Everybody got out the car except Cyn and Tracy. Not even ten minutes before we came out the store. All we saw was the car moving , driving right into the tree with doors open. While the car was moving Tracy was behind the stirring wheel and Cyn getting dragged by the car. Then all of a sudden blue and red lights start flashing. There were like 3 cops pulling up, they took Cyn and Tracy. While everybody else got away, this was the worst night ever. Cyn got her license suspended and Tracy got a citation in the mail. It all started one night when Cyn, Tracy, and Erica decided to go out. They wanted to attend a party they heard about on Twitter. The party was free until it got shut down. Everyone was invited to the party. The party started at 9 o’clock. Hearing about the party got the girls excited, so they decided to go to the mall and find some sexy outfits. The girls are at the mall shopping for their outfits for tonight. Tracy decided to wear this tight fitted black dress, with some red heels. Cyn wanted to wear a crop top with a mini skirt. Erica decided to wear a dress also but couldn’t think of the shoes she wanted to wear. So all the girls found there outfit, and started to head back home to get ready for the party. Everyone is now home getting dress, it’s about eight o clock. You hear loud music playing, and see you everyone just moving around like wild animals. Tracy is doing her makeup, Erica is in the shower and Cyn is doing her hair. So far everything is going great with good timing. It was about time to get ready and leave. Then Cyn took a shot of alcohol and passed it around the circle. The girls are in the car blasting music, dancing, on their way to the party. When they pulled up to the party all you seen was a lot of people outside, So we wasn’t sure where the party was. Some random boy pointed us in the direction of the party. We all walked in and saw colorful lights flashing with a strip pole in the middle of the floor. People were drinking and dancing all over. It was a lot of people in the party, it was so packed people could barely move. Next some girl was walking around with a glass container, giving out some type of drink she made. The drink was very tasty and fruity. As of right now the party is still going and it’s about twelve o clock. There are people still dancing, drinking and doing whatever. Cyn told everybody in the group that the party was popping and she didn’t want to leave yet. Since that we all decided to stay for a couple more hours. Bonus Blog: In class we had a nice discussion about the truth. Telling the truth is basically being honest about your own entitled opinion. Some people don’t always tell the truth because they think lying over little things will make the situation better. I believe telling truth will set you free, I heard that saying a couple times. It’s not that bad it does make the situations a little better but not quite. So it’s better for you just to tell the truth. But everyday people lie to someone they really love nowadays, Instead of just telling the truth.
In my week 6 reflection blog we were told to write about your writing process and your writing product for the creative nonfiction essay. We had to include the following :
· Explain the actual process of writing the paper · Discuss which parts of your process worked and which parts did not. · Critique your end product (the essay itself, including structure, themes, showing writing, telling writing, etc). · Discuss which parts of your product work and which parts do not. When I’m getting ready to write a paper, First thing I do is brainstorm. I write down a couple options of things I could write about or what I want to write about. I always brainstorm first so when it’s time to the paper, I will already have something in mind to write about. During the process of writing my paper, I had to work on my introduction of my essay. I had all the parts I needed for my paper, except that it wasn’t in chronicle order. So when I revised my paper I made sure everything was in order. When I went back and made all my corrections. It’s always good to get feedback on your work. So you can get better at writing and knowing what you need to work on. My essay wasn’t bad at all, all I had to do was go back & fix a couple mistakes I didn’t have to write my whole story over or anything. I just went back and did my corrections so it could be better than what it was before. My introduction of my creative nonfiction essay : It’s a Friday night Erica ,Cyn ,Tracy , all decided to go out. They wanted to attend a party they heard about on Twitter. The party was free it from nine until it got shut down. Everyone was invited to the party. Hearing about the party got the girls excited, so they decided to go to the mall. They all wanted to go and find something cute to wear for the party.
School is going great so far. I’m on top of all my homework, I caught up on everything. In my Communication class we discussed different ways people communicate, and we sorted the class into groups. These groups will remain the same until this semester over. My English class we talked about showing & telling scenes. We had to write a thousand word creative nonfiction essay. After my English class I have to attend my math. I really regret taking math at the end of the day. When school is out I will be going home & catching up on some sleep.
1) I went to movies to see Kevin Hart new movie wedding ringers. I got out the car all I felt was cold wind smacking me in my face. When I felt that wind hit me I wanted to run in the movies. It was quiet when I first entered the movies. Then I went upstairs you could smell popcorn and see a few ordering their food.
2) I am coming home from work, when I opened all I could smell was spaghetti. The spaghetti smelled so good , the first thing I did was went to the kitchen. I didn’t even put my coat and stuff down. I saw a big pot of spaghetti with garlic breads on the side. After I saw that I was ready to eat already. I believe my mom make the best spaghetti. During this week of school, I’m trying to keep up my pace with my work. In my Communication class we have our first test coming, praying and hoping I do well. In my English class we are still working on our weebly websites. Our websites are slowly processing we have to write a blog almost every day. This is good for us so we can keep our brains up and running. After school I have to babysit my little cousin enjoy his company even though he only five months old. He makes my day good when I’m having bad days. His little smile is just the cutest, I love kids but I don’t have none of my own. I will also do my homework so I won’t have to worry when the due date come. It’s better to do it when you have free never wait until the last minute to do something.
So my Professor ask my class to write two showing scenes that depict an event from your everyday life. We had to write about two places we were familiar with and not familiar with. I wrote about my house,and some food place I went to for my mom friend birthday. I never been to this place in my life
Familiar place – Every day I come home from school I take the same way home. I come from the bus stop, walk pass this long black gate. It takes me at least two minutes to walk pass this gate that’s how long it is. At the end of the gate is this skating ramp with steps next to it. I go down the steps and I see big church on the left side of me. My house is a one more block from the church. When I get to the stop sign , I turn left and on that street is my house. Every day I get home from school it’s the same car that be there when I leave. That’s how I familiar I am with my street, if the cars not out there its always something that reminds that I am on the right street. Unfamiliar place - For the first time I went to Cracker Barrel for my mom friend birthday. I never been to Cracker Barrel a day in my life. When I first walked in it was like a big wooden cabin full of souvenirs. I saw some toys I used to play with from my child hood. Also it was full of people waiting to be seated. It was so weird so people were waited on to be seated. People had to be occupied until they called them on the loud speaker to be seated. It wasn’t that bad after we got seated. Cracker Barrel had some good breakfast food. I would like to visit that restaurant again J So in school for my third week of school, In my first period class is which is Communication 100. We were talking about different cultures all around the world. I enjoyed talking about this topic so much. We even created our own character from Sesame Street of a culture that’s not really seen on that show if you even remember watching sesame. It was a very fun activity to do, came across a lot of interesting cultures. So, then I had Q-time which was from eleven o’ clock to twelve ten. After that I had my English 100 class. In my English class we read a couple stories, and worked on our weebly websites. We had to play around with our websites so we can get used to more. This is something I need to work on anyway. We also covered more ways to become a good writer. There are a lot of things you have to know how to do for you to become a good writer. But at the end of it was all worth it, it’s always good to receive feedback from a tutor or your professor. Getting feedback helps better your writing skills. But I hope you enjoyed reading my blogs…..
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